Two Quizzes for Couples in Constant Conflict
If you answer yes to even one of the following questions, you could be a
partner in a mutually destructive, emotionally abusive relationship.
Are You Being Emotionally Abused?
- Do you feel as if your partner treats
you like a child?
- Does your partner routinely ridicule, dismiss, or disregard your
opinions and feelings?
- Do you find yourself “walking on eggshells,” wary of your partner’s
- Is your partner jealous and resentful of the time you spend with
friends and family?
- Does your partner usually insist on making the decisions and getting
his own way?
- Does your partner punish you by pouting, withdrawing, or withholding
- Does you partner constantly accuse you of flirting or having affairs,
- Does your partner seem impossible to please, finding fault with
whatever you do?
- Does your partner frequently put you down in front of others?
- Does your partner blame you for his or her own problems?
- Does your partner viciously tease and then accuse you of not being
able to take a joke?
- Does your partner find it impossible to apologize or admit when he is
- Does your partner pressure you to engage in sexual acts that you find
Are You Being Emotionally Abusive?
- Do you perceive of yourself as being
smarter or somehow “better than” your partner?
- Do you threaten to leave the house or end the relationship when you don’t
get your way?
- Do you think your partner is too sensitive and easily bruised by your
- Have you ever denied saying or doing something to make your partner doubt
- Do you experience frequent mood shifts, going from loving to rejecting
- Do you believe your partner should be willing to have sex whenever you
are in the mood?
- Do you believe your partner should put other things aside to tend to your
- Do you often telephone your partner at work or at home for reassurance of
- Do you question your partner incessantly about her activities when you
- Do you insist on being in control of the money in the relationship?
- Do you expect your partner to always have the same opinions and passions
- Have you ever threatened to destroy something of value to your partner?
- Have you ever thrown or broken objects in an attempt to scare your
Adapted from THE EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP: How to Stop Being
Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel (Wiley; October 2002).